Merlin Swears: Enough Is Enough
by MapleMischief
Summary: What happens when a crazed Fangirl makes her was into the Harry Potter universe and hears 'Merlin Swears' while high on caffeine? This. This does. Featuring an insane Fangirl, and time travelling Merlin and Knights. Also, Arthur raging. Not to be taken seriously. Now with an alternate ending featuring Morgana!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Maple Mischief here. :3**  
**So, a little while ago I was reading the Harry Potter books, and the 'Merlins Swears' just bothered me SO MUCH!**  
**I came up with this little piece in like, five minutes. Let me know what you think!**  
**Review, Favourite and Follow!**

* * *

"I would like you all to welcome your new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Maple Mischief."

All the students looked at the new teacher curiously. She looked no older than fourteen, but her eyes suggested she was much older. Her hair was long and dark, and there was an almost mischievous look on her face. She was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black hoodie with a maple leaf pattern. Definitely the strangest teacher they had ever had. Looking up from her iPad, Maple waved in greeting, before tapping away at the screen furiously once again.

"Merlins Beard!" Ron blurted, "She looks younger than us!"

Maple looked up at Ron and frowned. She didn't like the 'Merlin Swears' as she called them, because she was a huge Merlinian, and knew that Merlin did not, in fact, have a beard at all, and was actually quite cute. She became aware of all the 'Merlin Swears' around the room, and covered her ears in anguish, as cries of "Merlins Beard!" and "Merlins Pants!" surrounded her. At a cry of "Merlins saggy left butt cheek!" Maple lost control and screamed.

"I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She stood up. "MERLIN DOES NOT HAVE A BEARD YOU IMBECIELES! AND HE CERTAINLY DOES NOT HAVE A SAGGY LEFT BUTT CHEEK!"

"Merlins Beard, she's gone mad!"

"NO, YOU'VE ALL GONE MAD! IM GOING TO SHOW YOU THE REAL MERLIN AND ARTHUR!" She got a crazed smile on her face, and looked utterly insane.

"YOU'LL SEE! HE'S ADORABLE!"

She let out a fangirl screech, waved her hands, and a group of people appeared in a flash of light, tumbling out of a portal into a heap of limbs. Everyone in the great hall was shocked into silence as one of them pulled themselves up from the top of the pile.

"MERLIN!"

"Yes Sire?"

"I specifically told you NOT TO TOUGH THE WEIRD GLOWY THING IN THE FOREST!"

"But –"

"Oh, I'm Merlin, I'm the most powerful Sorcerer in the world, and I'm a HUGE IDIOT!"

"Ah, don't mind the Princess, Merlin, he's just speaking nonsense."

"Thanks Gwaine, but do you mind getting off me? It's getting quite hard to breathe down here… At the bottom… underneath everyone…"

Everyone pulled themselves to their feet, and Merlin was revealed. Everyone was expecting some old guy with a beard and a staff and a pointy hat. Instead there was a beardless lanky man with rather unfortunate ears and a red neckerchief.

"Wha…"

"YOU IDIOT MERLIN! NOW WE'RE IN SOME WEIRD CASTLE WHERE THERE'S A WHOLE LOAD OF KIDS STARING AT ME LIKE I'M INSANE!"

"Well, they aren't wrong…"

"MERLIN! Get us back to Camelot!"

"Okay, fine!"

He pouted, and they all linked hands, disappearing in another cliché flash of light.

"Erm, what the HELL just happened?!"


	2. Alternate Ending - Morgana!

**Hey everyone! It's me again :3**  
**I hope you like this alternate ending, featuring Morgana!**

"I would like you all to welcome your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Maple Mischief."

All the students looked at the new teacher curiously. She looked no older than fourteen, but her eyes suggested she was much older. Her hair was long and dark, and there was an almost mischievous look on her face. She was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black hoodie with a maple leaf pattern. Definitely the strangest teacher they had ever had. Looking up from her iPad, Maple waved in greeting, before tapping away at the screen furiously once again.

"Merlin's Beard!" Ron blurted, "She looks younger than us!"

Maple looked up at Ron and frowned. She didn't like the 'Merlin Swears' as she called them, because she was a huge Merlinian, and knew that Merlin did not, in fact, have a beard at all, and was actually quite cute. She became aware of all the 'Merlin Swears' around the room, and covered her ears in anguish, as cries of "Merlins Beard!" and "Merlins Pants!" surrounded her. At a cry of "Merlins saggy left butt cheek!" Maple lost control and screamed.

"I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She stood up. "MERLIN DOES NOT HAVE A BEARD YOU IMBECIELES! AND HE CERTAINLY DOES NOT HAVE A SAGGY LEFT BUTT CHEEK!"

"Merlins Beard, she's gone mad!"

"NO, YOU'VE ALL GONE MAD! IM GOING TO SHOW YOU THE REAL MERLIN AND ARTHUR!" She got a crazed smile on her face, and looked utterly insane.

"YOU'LL SEE! HE'S ADORABLE!"

She let out a fangirl screech, waved her hands, and a group of people appeared in a flash of light, tumbling out of a portal into a heap of limbs. Everyone in the great hall was shocked into silence as one of them pulled themselves up from the top of the pile.

"MERLIN!"

"Yes Sire?"

"I specifically told you NOT TO TOUGH THE WEIRD GLOWY THING IN THE FOREST!"

"But –"

"Oh, I'm Merlin, I'm the most powerful Sorcerer in the world, and I'm a HUGE IDIOT!"

"Ah, don't mind the Princess, Merlin, he's just speaking nonsense."

"Thanks Gwaine, but do you mind getting off me? It's getting quite hard to breathe down here… At the bottom… underneath everyone…"

Everyone pulled themselves to their feet, and Merlin was revealed. Everyone was expecting some old guy with a beard and a staff and a pointy hat. Instead there was a beardless lanky man with rather unfortunate ears and a red neckerchief.

"Wha…"

"YOU IDIOT MERLIN! NOW WE'RE IN SOME WEIRD CASTLE WHERE THERE'S A WHOLE LOAD OF KIDS STARING AT ME LIKE I'M INSANE!"

"Well, they aren't wrong…"

"MERLIN! Get us back to Camelot!"

"Okay, fine!"

He pouted, and they all linked hands, but before they could disappear in another cliché flash of light, there was a swirl of black smoke, and a woman appeared in from of them.

"HOLY SHIT!" cried Gwaine, "It's Morgana!" he pulled Merlin in front of him, using him as a human shield. Morgana scowled, then started chanting in a strange language, launching a fireball at Merlin. Merlin lazily raised his hands and conjured a golden shield.

"But…" Hermione stuttered, "How are they doing that without wands?!"

Merlin raised his hand, his eyes flashed gold, and then a branch appeared through a portal, knocking Morgana unconscious.

"Seriously Merlin? A branch?!"

"Hey! I'll have you know that was a very complicated spell! I transported that branch all the way from Camelot!"

"Yeah, but couldn't you have done something a bit more… flashy?" complained Gwaine.

"Not all Sorcerers have as much of a dramatic flair as Morgana, Gwaine."

"But you're like, the most powerful one ever! There are Prophecies about you, and you decide to use your magic to knock Morgana unconscious with a branch!"

"… Shut up."

"Hey, that's my line!"

"Let's just get back to Camelot."

"Okay!"

They disappeared in a flash of light.

"Who know Merlin would be that childish?!"


End file.
